RWOTD {Twice}

You have all probably heard the old saying "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

But what does it mean?  And how does it apply to the life of a follower of Jesus?  How does forgiveness fit into the picture?

These are some questions that I have been thinking about.

We've all been "burned" by people in our lives.  Someone who we thought could be trusted betrayed us. And we've probably been the betrayer a time or two as well.

Maybe you thought a relationship was built on certain foundations and then you realized that those foundations weren't there at all...and that the whole thing was built on lies and misconceptions.

Just today I was talking with an acquaintance about an ex-boyfriend of her's.  She is trying to decide whether she should get back together with him.  He has been pursueing her.  It is flattering. He says he has changed.  Should she believe him and take him back? 

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

This is what I told her and something that I believe I have learned from personal experience.  Unless a person can tell you WHY or WHAT has changed them (a specific experience, an encounter with God, an eye-opening wake up call), they probably haven't changed. People can modify their behavior for a period of time to get what they want, but true change has a source that usually can be traced.

But, then, in the life of a Christian, where do wisdom and cautiousness collide with love and forgiveness and grace?  And what does that look like? 

Big questions.  Elusive answers.

I know that one thing I need to keep in the fore-front of my mind is what grace that I have been shown. By God and by others. To remember the times that I have messed up and been in the wrong.  Not with a sense of shame, but with a sense of realizing how vulnerable I am to making mistakes and how much I need HIS guidance.  Always.

I don't think that there is a cookie cutter answer.  I am sure various situations are different.  Maybe the history that you have with the person otherwise comes into play.  I also believe that there are times God asks you to do something that is beyond your comfort zone and you need to obey. But I also believe that God gives us a sense of intuition and wisdom when it comes to tricky relationship situations.  And I have learned to trust that as if He was speaking out loud to me.  He gives us those intuitions for a reason and too many times I have second guessed my intuition and later regretted it. 

But I am curious.  What are your thoughts?  Have you ever given someone a "second chance" and regretted it?  Or have you been happy that you extended that gift of trust again, even when it felt scary?

Do you walk away from a relationship when you sense a pattern that is not healthy, or do you tend to stick it out in hopes that things change? What are some ground rules for building relationships after you have been "fooled" once?

And so...this is where the random word of the day {twice} led me in my thinking!  Hopefully you followed along!

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