5 Minute Friday {Beloved}

I am linking up today with The Gypsy Mama's 5 minute Friday.

The word is "Beloved" and here are the rules that she has posted on her blog.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog’s footer}.
3. Go and tell the person who linked up before you what their words meant to you. Every writer longs to feel heard.


GO

When I think of the word "beloved" my mind just continues to gravitate towards God.  We are His Beloved.  He created us to be the objects of His love and for us to return that love to Him.

Growing up, I didn't hear much about the love of God or His grace. Maybe it was just my filter or my personality, or maybe there really wasn't much of that teaching TO hear, but either way, the reason is not the point.

I grew up scared of God and feeling like He was always disappointed with me and frustrated with me. I struggle with feeling this way to this very day.

I feel like I am on a life long mission to learn what it means to really understand that I AM God's beloved.

I have been listening to this youtube video by Graham Cooke and it is SO good for me to hear.  I so desperately want this truth of how God feels about me to totally sink into my heart and not just be a head knowledge.  I would totally encourage you to take the time to listen to this video. It is about 8 minutes long.

Close your eyes.  Meditate on the words that he is saying. And the words that He is saying.  Let it soak in.

I believe that understanding our role as the Beloved of God's will revolutionize our lives, if we can just really "get" it.  It will change the way we view ourselves.  It will change the way we view our relationships with others. And most importantly, it will change our view of God.

I had an experience about a month ago that almost feels too sacred to write about, but God really, really made His love real to me in a euphoric, uplifting, sacred, amazing way.  The feeling that I had when I had even just a glimpse of His radical love for me gave me a small taste of what I might be missing by not really grasping or understanding the way that He loves me.

STOP

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5 Minute Friday {Dance}

I am linking up with Gypsy Mama again today for her "5 Minute Friday" where you write about the designated subject for 5 minutes. Unedited and no overthinking allowed.

GO


First off, a bit of humor.

My husband read this to me from a friend's Facebook status recently:

"Dance as if no one watching.  Or...just stop dancing in public, you freak!"

I found that pretty hilarious!

Since I don't know much of anything about the actual dancing and since I am a somewhat clumsy and uncoordinated person who couldn't even master a dancer-cize (thinking dancing and exercise and an instructor who was WAY too flexible and coordinated) class a few years back, I thought I would write about something that I can relate to a bit more.

The dance of marriage.

I think of that old John Michael Montgomery song "Life's a dance...you learn as you go...sometimes you lead...sometimes you follow...don't worry about what you don't know...life's a dance...you learn as you go."

Beautiful song. Even more beautiful words. 

I think the words of that song relate to marriage.  At least for me.

My husband and I have been dancing for 13 years and sometimes it feels like we are right in perfect rhythm and our feet are in perfect timing, and then other times it feels like all we are doing is stepping on each other's feet and tripping all over ourselves.

In a dance, there needs to be a clear leader, I am told.  Can that leader switch off from time to time?

I wonder.

It feels like there are times when I am the one leading...saying "Hey, is everything OK with us...and what can we do to get things back on track" and then sometimes he is the leader.  The strong and confident one.  The one who says "I believe in us and I'm willing to do what it takes to make our marriage stronger and better."

We are partners in this dance of life.  Of marriage.

But what about when the steps get off and everything seems all wrong and awkward?

How can we get things back into that perfect harmony? 

I don't know.  I certainly don't have all of the answers.

But I do know that "Life's a Dance...you learn as you go" and maybe that's where the joy and the wisdom is to be found.

In the mutual learning.

STOP

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5 Minute Friday {Expectations}

I am linking up with Gypsy Mama again today and taking part in her "5 Minute Friday".

The challenge is to write about an assigned subject for 5 minutes...no more.  No editing and no over-thinking...just writing.

So, here goes.

GO

I can't remember for sure where it was that I first read the phrase "Expectations ruin relationships."  I remember that it really struck me and resonated with me, because I had seen it happen in my own life. 

Especially in my marriage.

I remember many weekend get-a-ways with Jeremy that were ruined by my (unreasonably high) expectations about how things would go.

What?  He didn't open the door for me?  What?  He didn't ask my opinion about which gas station to stop at?  What?  He didn't gaze at me adoringly over dinner?

I would turn what could have been a perfect weekend with two less-than-perfect people into one disappointment after another.

Over time, I learned to lower my expectations.

There is something wonderful that happens when we lower expectations. 

We put ourselves in a position to be pleasantly surprised. 


I would end up reading it again in Ann Voskamp's "1000 Gifts".  She says that "Expectations kill relationships" and I high-lighted it in yellow.  She talks about how a small child is delighted and surprised by everything.  She talks about how expectations in our relationship with God can kill that relationship.

If we think God has to do things a certain way or respond a certain way in situations or always do things the way that we had expected, we set ourselves up for feeling a lot of anger and injustice.

But if we have the attitude of "a little child" as the Bible talks about...think of the wonder that they experience and the way that they look at every little thing as a gift.  Not analyzing or figuring out if it is good or not...they just are amazed.  Easily.

I still have always had this nagging question though.

Is it not good to have SOME sort of expectation in relationships?  Whether with girlfriends or with my husband?  Is it OK to just let someone run over you?  Is it right to just be all like "Well, whatever they do or don't do is fine with me?"

Something about that doesn't seem right.

Just yesterday, I read something in a book that I randomly picked up.  I had forgotten that I had even bought it.  It was about marriage.

In there, he made the differentiation that I have been looking for.  He said that it is ok to have "value expectations" in a relationship.

As in...I need to be treated with respect.  With kindness.  With love.

But it is not OK to have behavior expectations. 

He will wash the dishes every night.
He will earn at least $100,000 a year.
He will always notice when I am feeling sad.
He will always remember our anniversary.

Something about that really made sense to me.

I want to learn to be a friend and spouse who lowers my expectations of others so that I am not the one to blame for killing a relationship that could have been something great.

STOP

(I totally went over my time.  That was more like 8 minutes.  So sue me!  I had more to say and I guess I couldn't type quite fast enough today!)

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5 minutes on "Opportunity"

Today I am linking up with Gypsy Mama...a great blogger who I discovered (and came to love) a while ago.

The challenge is to write for 5 minutes...unedited and uninhibited.

The topic of the day is "Opportunity"

We'll see how this turns out...

And...

GO

Every day is FULL of them.

Opportunities, that is.  It is up to us what we do with them.

The word opportunity can evoke feelings of hope and feelings of joy.  We have a chance.

But when we blow an opportunity, it can leave us feeling depressed and guilty and worthless.

I wouldn't even know how to count the number of opportunites that present themselves to us each and every day.

Opportunites to be kind or to be unkind.

Opportunities to listen.  Opportunities to speak.

We have the option each day as to what we will do with the opportunities that come our way.

It can be a sobering thought when you realize how much opportunity is squandered.

Our words and our actions are SO powerful and can affect others so strongly...whether for good or for bad.

The word "opportunity" reminds me a lot of the word "choice".  I think that they are somewhat synonymous.

The good news is...when you have "blown in" and have completely missed or botched an opportunity, there is always a new day.

We don't need to live with regret for what we missed, but we should look ahead to what is coming.  Wallowing in the past and wishing things were different never really helped anyone.  We need to move on and thank God that every day brings new opportunities with it.

So whether you feel like you totally knocked it out of the park today or if you feel like you have totally blown it...remember that opportunites are like raindrops.

They fall on the deserving and the undeserving and they come around often.  We just need to open our hearts and our minds and let the possibilities wash over us.

DONE

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