You don't know what you don't know...

Last week I read the following story that someone had posted on Facebook.  Maybe you saw it too. Maybe you had a completely different reaction than I did.  But the idea for writing this post has been swirling around in my head ever since.

 

Here is the article I read --

 

 

Dear Mom On the iPhone,

I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone. It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it? You are doing a great job with your kids, you work hard, you teach them manners, have them do their chores.

But Mom, let me tell you what you don’t see right now…..

Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.

You aren’t.

Your little boy keeps shouting, “Mom, MOM watch this!” I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way.

He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.

Now you are pushing your baby in the swing. She loves it! Cooing and smiling with every push. You don’t see her though, do you? Your head is bent, your eyes on your phone as you absently push her swing.

Talk to her. Tell her about the clouds, Mommy. The Creator who made them. Tickle her tummy when she comes near you and enjoy that baby belly laugh that leaves far too quickly.

Put your eyes back on your prize…Your kids.

Show them that they are the priority. Wherever you are, be ALL there. I am not saying it’s not ok to check in on your phone, but it’s a time-sucker: User Beware!

Play time at the park will be over before you know it.

The childhood of your children will be gone before you know it.

They won’t always want to come to the park with you, Mommy. They won’t always spin and twirl to make their new dress swish, they won’t always call out, “WATCH ME!”

There will come a point when they stop trying, stop calling your name, stop bothering to interrupt your phone time.

Because they know…

You’ve shown them, during all of these moments, that the phone is more important than they are. They see you looking at it at while waiting to pick up brother from school, during playtime, at the dinner table, at bedtime…..

I know that’s not true, Mommy.

I know your heart says differently.

But your kids can’t hear your words, Mommy. Your actions are screaming way too loudly.

May our eyes rest upon those we love, first and foremost, and may everything else fall away in the wonderful, noisy, sticky-fingered glory of it all.

 

(End of article)

 

 

I read this and my reaction was anger and frustration.  And some other emotions that I couldn't initially identify.  (Just to be clear...nothing at all against the friend who posted this on her Facebook, this has nothing to do with her.)

 

Here's the thing:  You don't know what you don't know.

 

Maybe this Mom just spent the morning baking cookies with her kids and her phone was not even turned on.

 

Maybe she's going through a really rough time in her life and she is busy texting a friend, who is her lifeline right now.

 

Maybe just this morning she contemplated getting in her car, dropping her kids off with her Mother, and just driving.  Not knowing where she is going or when she will be back.  Just leaving.  And inside, she pulled herself together, grabbed her three kids and her phone, and took them to the park.  She said to herself "If I can just make it through today..."

 

Maybe, just maybe, she knows what I know.  That kids will NEVER get tired of your attention even if you give it to them all of the time.  They will want more.  And more. And they will suck you dry.  Maybe she believes that it is OK for kids to have to entertain themselves sometimes.  Honestly, I think its cool that she even TOOK them to the park.  She could have sat inside and watched TV all day.

 

Maybe she's struggling as a Mom and God only knows that if she HAD to be present with her kids every moment of every day, she wouldn't be able to do it.  She would literally have to run away.  That she feels this pressure on her chest all the time...and elephant of guilt and "should have's" and "I'm not enoughs."

 

Yes, our children are growing up.  No, they won't always want us to take them to the park.  But that's how life is.  Things change.  Children grow up.  And its a good thing.  You can't keep them in a time warp.

 

I get the idea of enjoying moments with your children.  I think it is important!  I know that I will one day look back and say "Wow! Weren't those the days?"  But I think that right now a lot of times.  But that doesn't mean that I am always fully present to watch every little stunt my boys do or see every twirly-dance my daughter does.

 

They need me, yes.  They need my love and attention and acceptance.  I am important in their lives. 

 

But I am not their whole world. And they aren't mine.   I have a life of my own too.  And its OK if I want to live it. 

 

And if that includes taking them to a park and then sitting there and reading a book or chatting with a girlfriend or being on my phone while they play, then don't try to make me feel guilty about it.  They're fine.  They're totally fine. 

 

Maybe this feeling of anger and frustration and "I don't know if I can breathe" comes from a place in my life right now where I feel suffocated by the needs of those around me.  I feel like I've hit a wall and I need to do some things for me.  I don't want to resent my children.  I am so happy they are in my life and I was the one who chose to be a Mother.  I know that! 

 

But I need some space.  I need some breathing room.  I need to stop worrying about how every decision might impact their fragile physche.  I need to be able to frickin' be on my phone while they play at the park. 

 

Because without that balance and without feeding my own soul and without setting boundaries, I can't even be a Mom.

 

I think I am just sick and tired of the pressure.  All the time.  I just want to live.  I want to enjoy the moments that I get and the ones that slip by...well, so what? 

 

I realize that this might seem controversial.  I know this article that I copied here was meant to be written in a sweet and caring and non-judgmental way.  But am I the only one who still feels the judgment?  Subtle as it may be.  We are assuming a lot of negative things about this Mom. And we don't even know her!! 

 

I feel naked and vulnerable in writing this post.  But it has been in my head ever since last Friday and I can't get it out.  So here is my bumbling attempt to express myself. 

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How I spend my time...

I have been thinking about time management lately and wondering what exactly I spend my time on?

It feels like the days fly by and I am SO busy and yet all I seem to be doing is surviving and getting the things done that HAVE to be done.

This little experiment I did was sparked by a discussion that I had with someone where they were talking about how important is to find things to do that we are passionate about. Otherwise, life can become very mundane and boring and then we tend to look for ways of escape from our reality. And that is usually not healthy.

I wondered aloud when I would ever have time for those things?  It seems like everything takes time and costs money.  Both of which are in short supply.

You know how no matter what you want to do, "there's an app for that"?

Well, I found an app for tracking time and I decided I was going to see just exactly where my time went.

The app is called ATracker Lite and it was free on my I-phone.

It only took a little bit of time to set up all of my categories and then you just put the button by the category when you start sometime and push the button for the next category when you switch to that.  It was very simple and effective. And if you mess up or forget to stop when you should or whatever, you can edit it or correct it afterwards.

I figured it would also keep me on task because if I am in the "bookwork" category, then I don't have time to be surfing Facebook in between. I had been reading anyway how multi-tasking is not productive, so I thought that this would also keep me focused on one thing at a time and maybe that would be good for me.

Honestly, that thing about multi-tasking is still up for debate in my brain.  I DO feel like I accomplish more because I multi-task.  But, hey, who am I to argue with experts?

So, last week from Monday morning to Thursday night I kept diligent track of my time.  This was a very normal/average week for me, so it gives a good snapshot of my life.  Mundane as it is.

If inquiring minds want to know, here is how I spent my time for 4 days.

Sleeping -- 25 hours  (This was kind of frustrating to me that I spent a THIRD of my time sleeping, although I guess I should be thankful that I get a solid 8 hours of sleep pretty much every night.)

Bookwork -- 20.5 hours (This included bookwork that I did away from home and at home.)

Driving -- 2.5 hours

Errands -- 2 hours and 45 minutes (Those dang errands!!  And this didn't even include grocery shopping, because I didn't go in those 4 days.)

Exercising -- 1 hour

Food prep and eating -- 3.5 hours (I guess we had a lot of quick suppers that week. I know we had leftovers at one meal.  But I don't usually spend a lot of time cooking as a general rule. I do quick and easy.)

Fun for me -- 45 minutes (I think that this was trying on new clothing/outfits that I had bought.)

Housework -- 2 hours and 11 minutes (Laundry, dishwasher, random cleaning, packing lunches, etc.)

Reading -- 1 hour and 12 minutes

Rest/Time with God -- 1 hour and 9 minutes (this was devotional time and meditation time)

Showering and getting ready -- 2.5 hours (This was one that seemed high to me.  But I honestly think that I am pretty low maintenance when it comes to getting ready, etc.  I have to leave the house appropriately dressed pretty much every day, but still, I am curious how this would compare to other women.)

Shopping -- 41 minutes (This could probably also go in the "Fun for me" category. This was a little clothing shopping outing to brighten my Monday!)

Talking on the phone -- 26 minutes.  (I talked on the phone more than this, but I was either doing housework or bookwork while I talked, so I put that into those categories.  This was time where I was just sitting and talking on the phone. Which rarely happens with me.)

Time with friends -- 7 hours (This seemed really high to me.  But it included our weekly Community Group/Bible Study, my weekly coffee with my parents, and my weekly "Wednesday Girls" get together. So this would be pretty normal. Plus, I often have another social thing or two in my week, like book club or going out for dinner with a friend.)

Time with Jeremy -- 2 hours and 24 minutes (This was time with Jeremy that was not also "Time with Kids" or "Time with friends" where he was along. I should have maybe called it "alone time with Jeremy".  Not much in four days, though, is it?)

Time with kids -- 4 hours and 37 minutes (Basically, what I found is that whenever I had "spare time" I would pretty much hang out with the kids.  This didn't include meal times or times in the morning when I was working on housework as they were getting ready for school or whatever.  They are gone to school so much of the time, that during the week I try to be with them when I can.)

Watching TV -- 20 minutes (1 episode of "Community" -- One thing you cannot put on me is that I spend too much time watching TV.  I rarely watch it.  I don't have time!)

Web surfing/blog reading/Facebook -- 2 hours (I thought that this category might be a lot higher, which was one of the reasons that I wanted to track my time.  And some of this time was even productive type of web surfing, where I was looking up something specific, etc.  So not much to cut out there!)

And that was it.  My whole 4 days. And then I left for 2 days for a Women's Conference, so that is where it stopped.

I honestly felt kind of discouraged by this. Because I didn't see a lot of places to cut things and make more time for something I am passionate about.

I guess sleeping less would be one of the most obvious, but I feel like that would affect me negatively anyway.

Comments or thoughts?

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{Questioning the Means to the End}

Looking at this picture, I have no clue why we were hesitant to buy Kendall a gun.

Do you?  (ha, ha)

You know how sometimes you try the same things over and over with your strong willed child and it seems to be to no avail?

Things like patience and kindness and love.

And, then, one day your son comes home from school with homework.

Immediately, he starts in to the same old pattern.  Whining. Fussing. Crying.

He's 8. Ok. Let's not forget that small fact.  He's not 2 any more.

There are other ways to communicate.

So I said to him, calmly but firmly.  "Listen. You need to stop crying and whining. I will help you. But you need to talk in a regular voice."

His teacher had recently confirmed that he NEVER cries about his work at school.  So I know he is capable of doing homework without tears.

After a few exchanges back and forth, I said "You need to stop using that voice" and then he said "Well, then you need to stop using that voice." 

He says its my yelling voice.  Really, it is just me being stern and talking in a moderate but firm voice.

I said "Ok, you stop whining and crying and talk in your regular voice and I'll do the same."

We attempted to proceed.

But there was just more crying and fussing.

So I yelled loudly (actually yelled) at him "GET YOUR WORK DONE!" 

He looked at me with surprise and the corner of his mouth turned up in a twitchy smile.

He knew what was going on.  He was whining so I was really and truly yelling.

But, he couldn't quite decide to find it funny.

After all. Mom had yelled.  How dare she???

He said something else whiny and I yelled (yes, really yelled) again. 

"I DON'T CARE. JUST DO YOUR HOMEWORK!"

This time, his face turned into a pout and he stormed off to his room and slammed the door.

Repeatedly.

I wondered if I had just made a parenting error.  Maybe had a lapse in judgement.

Because I know that 2 wrongs don't make a right.  Usually, at least.

But...we have had this homework (crying, whining) issue for quite some time and frankly, I was just pretty fed up with it.

I was ready to try something different.

Guess what?  After about 10 minutes he came out of his room.

His math homework was done.

He was part way finished with his other homework sheet and this time, when he asked for help from me, he used a reasonable and normal tone of voice.

And so did I.

The homework was finished within 10 minutes after his re-appearance and the rest of the day continued on without any further ado.

If you were appalled while reading this, then I would be interested in hearing a better solution.

Did I cross the line?  Does the fact that I got my message across justify the means by which I did it?

I'm not sure.

But the homework did get done. The attitude did change.

I'm just left wondering if it was all OK.

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Another Kid Birthday Party

It is one of those days where I am not feeling much inspiration.

But...I have these pictures already uploaded so I figured I may as well do a little blog post about Kendall's 8th birthday party, which was about 2 weeks ago.

Does anyone else get stressed out by birthday parties?

Even when I think back on them, usually I remembered feel flushed and frenzied. 

It often seems as if it doesn't work out for Jeremy to be around to help with the party, so that leaves me to chaperone and feed and deal with 8 - 10 kids. On my own.  (Thankfully, for this one, my friend Morgan agreed to come and watch the kids at the pool for a bit while I got the room where the party was to be held all ready.  If you're reading this, Morgan, thanks SO much. You were a life saver!!)

I grew up without much birthday celebration.  I don't recall being sad about that, but I wanted at least a little something more for my kids.

Truth be told, I actually really enjoy the "pre-party" portion of the planning.  I like deciding on a theme and ordering the supplies and scouring Pinterest for the ideas and making the cake.

Its just the couple hours of the actual party that always seem kind of crazy.

Granted, it has gotten a bit easier as my kids (and their friends) get older, but it still feels like a lot to manage.

I think the reasons I keep repeating the craziness are these:

1.  My kids LOVE their birthday parties and look forward to them so much!
2.  I only have three kids.  So that means this only occurs three times a year. I can deal with that.

So, without further ado --

Pictures!!

The whole crew.

The cake.  The theme of his party was "Gold" because it was his golden birthday!

A "rainbow" with a pot of gold at the end of it!  (This is when Derrick made his comment about "kids these days not eating fruit anymore.")

Gold drawstring goody bags for the kids.

In the pool!

Opening gifts!

A blurry picture of my 8 year old blowing out the candles.

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My Love/Hate Relationship

This is me.

This is my I-phone.

(well, this is a phone that looks a lot like my phone.  I have found that it is nearly impossible to take a picture of your phone WITH your phone!  Ha, ha!)

I have a love/hate relationship with my I-phone.

Historically, it has mostly been a love relationship.

Love the apps.  Love the voice to text feature. Love the internet access. Love how easy it is to use. Love playing Words with Friends. Love being accessible to my friends.

But recently I have been feeling like my phone is running my life.

Somewhere along the way, it seems like the power has shifted and now my phone controls me, not the other way around.

For instance, last Friday when I let Derrick play hooky from school and we went on our date, I told him that I will try not to be on my phone while we are together.

Next thing I know, I am texting a friend to let her know why I can't return her call.

Then a friend texted me to ask if we could do coffee on short notice.  Well, I didn't think it would be polite to wait to respond to that text. If it was me, I would want to know how to plan.

Later on, a friend that I text with regularly sent me a message.  Since I usually respond pretty quickly, I didn't want her to start wondering why I didn't write back more quickly.

Then another friend texted me to confirm dinner plans for the evening and decide where we were going to go.  That meant I needed to text Jeremy.  And on it went.

And soon Derrick was saying, in an accusing tone, "Mom! I thought you said you weren't going to be on your phone!!"

I explained to him that I had to get back to some people, but still...

I DO love staying in touch with my friends. I love the ease of texting.  And I have to say, I appreciate when friends are quick to respond and you don't have to wait for hours to get a reply.

But in an effort to unclutter my mind and feel more peaceful, I am wondering if I need to set up some boundaries for me and my I-phone.

I don't know where to start. Or even if I want to.  When I think of only checking my phone on the hour, it makes me feel kind of panicky. 

Maybe I could check it when it alerts me to a text or a reminder, but if it isn't urgent, I could wait to respond until later.

I don't know.  It is just something I have been thinking about.

What is your relationship like with your phone?  Do you love your phone?  Do you hate it?  Do you feel like it important to be accessible to others?  Does the constant checking of your phone, responding to texts, checking your e-mail and playing games make your mind feel cluttered and distracted?  Or is it just part of life?

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{Weekly Bits and Pieces}

It is after 3 o'clock on Monday afternoon.

I haven't figured out yet what I am making for dinner, other than buying some focaccia bread randomly a few hours ago.

I have bookwork to do and the kids will be home in less than an hour.

But sometimes, when you feel like writing, you just have to take the time to do it.  It feeds the soul!

Inspired by my friend Rachel, I thought I would do a "Miscellaneous Monday" post.

I am hoping that she subscribes to the philosophy that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Otherwise, she might be annoyed at my blantant copying of her idea. 

I did think it would be a bit over the top to call title my post "Miscellaneous Monday", hence the name you see for this blog post! ;-)


This morning I went for coffee with a good friend. I ordered a decaf mocha (it was too bitter for my liking) and sat and chatted with her for about an hour. 

In the midst of our discussion, she told me how much she likes my blog.  I didn't even know she read my blog. She went on to say some nice and encouraging things about my writing and I somewhat sheepishly admitted that I do have a dream to one day write a book.  She said "Well, maybe when the kids are older you will be able to take some time off and do that."  I've thought the same thing.  But I also wonder if that is just excuse for me not to get started now.

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Have you ever noticed how certain phrases really catch on in the on-line world and pretty soon everybody (including me) is using them?  Even if they wouldn't use them in real life?  It is actually kind of annoying and I am bothered by the fact that I participate.

For instance:

"hand raised"
"excited squeals" and it's more active but quieter cousin "happy dance"
"love, love, love __________"
"hugs" and, I think you might get extra points if you use a "z" at the end instead of an "s"
"if I lived closer I would totally..."  (Really?  Are you SURE you would?)
"melt me"
"yay"
"I totally heart that"

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Our basement is where I send the kids when they get too rowdy.  It is where they can leave things a mess and don't have to clean up.  Unless someone is coming over.

The other week we were having company and I had the kids clean up the basement. Just in case. As our guests were about to leave for the evening Nikki said, loudly, and in front of them -- "Why did we have to clean up the basement?? They didn't even go down there!!!" 

Thanks for that, Nicole Danielle.  Thankfully, our friends have a good sense of humor and got a big kick out of it.

Anyway, most of the time our basement looks like a Toy's R Us and a Bed, Bath and Beyond mated and then had about 100 children and abandoned them to fend for themselves in our basement.

I could have taken more pictures, but you get the idea.  I think I have sufficiently proved my point!

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This morning at the coffee shop I bought a dollar's worth of these little bits of awesomeness.

Dark chocolate covered sea salt caramels.

Seriously. So good!

I would totally share them with you if you "lived closer".

Like in my own house.

Maybe.  Or maybe not.

At least that sounded generous.

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Lately I have been experiencing an irrational fear when I am lying in the tanning bed.

I have been tanning once a week for years.

But recently I have been afraid that I am going to be lying there and the bulbs are going to inexplicable burst and cut my body a 1,000 different places.

I picture a huge slice of glass cutting my throat and as I lie there naked and bleeding to death, no one will know.  Because the timer still says "7 minutes" to go.

I'm not sure how to get this idea out of my head.

I am also not sure if this ever happens, but I am afraid to Google it for fear it DOES happen and then I will have some proof that my fear actually could happen.

And then I might have to quit tanning.

And I am SO not ready for that.

There. You can feel better about yourself now.  I really AM the crazy one.

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Nikki's latest drawing for me, which was presented to me yesterday.  It is "her blowing bubbles in the summertime."  I love it.  She still draws people like that and I really don't want to tell her to stop. I know she'll figure it out soon enough.

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I don't know if anyone remembers me talking about how my Mom has written my grandmother a letter every.single.week of the year for 23 years now!

And how we all thought that my Grandma had throw some of the letter away.

I so mourned the loss of those letters because I was planning get them back from my Grandma and read through them. They are such a snapshot of our lives!! I'm not even usually that sentimental, but about this, I was.

Anyway, last summer my Mom was cleaning my Grandma's garage and she found a whole sack of the letters. Apparently, my Grandma was going to burn them and never quite got around to getting them our to the burn pile.

I was estactic.  In January, Mom and Dad were in Pennsylvania and Mom brought back this whole box of letters.  There must be over a thousand of them.  I started reading some yesterday and brought another stack home with me to read when I get a chance!

So fun! 

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On Saturday the kids and I worked on their Valentine's.  I know I am early, but I was freaking out about when we would get them done.  Between Kendall's birthday party and Jeremy and I going away for the weekend, I knew Valentine's was totally going to sneak up on me.

And since I really enjoy doing that kind of thing with them, we decided to get it done early.

This is for Derrick's classmates.

Kendall's

Nikki's

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Saturday evening Jeremy and the kids were all sitting around watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" while I was spending some time alone in the other room.

It was so cool to hear them laughing together.

Finally, I came out and took a picture. 

This picture makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

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That was also the same night that I made the family some peach milkshakes. 

And when one got spilled on the table, this is what happened next.

I am not sure who raised these boys to be this unmannerly, but I am NOT taking responsibility for this behavior!

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This is the door to Nikki's room. 

A list of who may come in.

A picture of her aunt and uncle.

A Sponge Bob sticker.

A February calendar.

And a ground-hog puppet.

Did I mention that the door to her room is right off of our dining room?

So yes, she adds a touch of "class" to my dining room decor.

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Since this seems to be the post of inspiration by others, I will also mention my friend Amber. 

She writes a wonderful blog and back in November she wrote a post about how she let the kids skip school one day.  You can read it here.  Very interesting.

She inspired me to do something with my children that I have never done before.  I decided that I would, through out the rest of the school year, pick one day where I would let them play hooky from school and they would just have a fun day with Mom.

Totally centered about them.

I decided Derrick would be first because he is most likely to keep a secret so that I am able to surprise the other children in the same way later in the year.

I communicate with his teacher beforehand, and then at 9 o'clock on Friday I showed up at his school and had him called up to the front office.

Just the look on his face was totally worth it!!

Once we got in the van, I explained that, yes, he was skipping school for the rest of the day and he and I were just going to hang out!

He was so happy.  Except that he did inform me that they had gym that day, which is his all time fav!

But, he hastened to add "This is more fun!"

This is apparently the fact that Derrick now makes when he knows I am taking a picture.

Let me just tell you. He looks much more handsome when he is NOT making this particular face.

But I guess this will have to do until he figures that out.

We went bowling.  He almost beat me.  But not quite.

Lunch was at Applebees.

This is Derrick famous line whenever I ask where he wants to go to eat

"Just give me any restaurant that serves a cheeseburger and I will be fine!"

So a bacon cheddar cheeseburger it was.

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And I will leave you with this parting shot.

Kendall can do things with his body that should be earning him some kind of awards. Somewhere.

He was seriously just laying on the floor like this.

Relaxing. 

If I tried this, I would probably be crying. 

He can also use his foot as a pretend telephone and scratch his head with his foot. 

That boy is "bendy!" 

Be impressed. Be very impressed!

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Happy Monday to you! 

Monday is always my worst day of the week.  Now that it is almost over, the rest is all downhill!

Yay!

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Watching TV = Quality Time ??

Sunday was just one of those days.

It started out great and all, but by mid afternoon when the husband was taking a nap and the kids were grouchy from getting to bed too late the night before, things had taken a downhill turn.

Jeremy had plans to be gone all evening and I was home with the kiddos.

Do you ever have those days when you are just fairly sick of your kids?  Your patience is just wearing quite thin?  You feel the beginnings of a small nervous breakdown?

Like, what you really want is an empty house and a bubble bath and a glass of wine.  Not three kids who are bouncing off the walls and bugging each other and asking if they "couldn't just have another snack."

You can try to change your attitude.  You can pray.  You can give a shot at playing games with them or reading to them, both of which may not end well.

(Picture this:  poor sports when they didn't win the game and Mom eventually saying "I'm not playing with you guys if you can't act decent" and fighting over who gets to hold the book, etc.)

Or, you can say...to heck with it...and turn on the TV and make some popcorn.

And all will be well.   Sanity will reign.

I have long felt like TV is a poor substitute for, well, pretty much anything.

Whether we are talking adults or children, TV watching is not high on my list of things that people should be spending their time doing.

Not to say I haven't used the TV as a babysitter at times throughout the years. Especially when my kids were little and I had bookwork I needed to get done! But I have always felt guilty about it. 

I know it is not completely consistant because I would rather be working on something and the children playing something (separately) than having all of us sitting down and watching TV together.

To me...TV watching together does not equal quality time.  I know lots of people who do look at it that way. The whole family sitting down.  Spending time together. 

But in my mind, there is virtually no interacting happening.  Really, you're spending quality time with the TV and people happen to be sitting beside you. 

Even with Jeremy and I...we watch a show together because we want to see it...not because it brings some sort of connection to us.

Somehow, I feel like a wimp when I take the easy route of "Hey, you guys wanna watch TV with me" instead of doing something more interactive with the kids.

But maybe, instead of being a wimp, I'm just stupid. 

Either way, Sunday night was one of those times that I felt the occassion called for it.

So I made a huge batch of popcorn and we sat around watching "Penguins of Madagascar" and shoving handfuls of popcorn into our mouths.

Like I told Jeremy later, "I figured that option would be the best for the kids and for me." 

Sometimes, being a Mom is about knowing when you've had enough and making choices accordingly.

And I like to think that's OK.

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Mama, Mama, Morning Drama...

Those simple pleasures in life...like finding a quarter in the washing machine or making an awesome salad for lunch or getting to sit down and read for a long awaited 30 minutes...they make our world's go 'round.

It is the little things that make up the days and keep us feeling excited about life!

But sometimes...our expectations come crashing down around us.  And one of our little moments in stolen away from us.  Just.like.that.

One of my best friends recently "accused" me of being dramatic.  This was a very hard pill for me to swallow, and, as a matter of fact, that particular pill may still be stuck in my throat.

Me?  Dramatic?  Intense. Maybe.  Strong-willed. Sure.  Opionated.  I guess so.  But dramatic?  I'm not exactly liking the connotations that brings up in my mind.

So, let me share this little story with you and I guess I will leave it up to you to decide whether I am dramatic or not. 

I need to back-track a few days to Monday afternoon.  I decided to bake something different than my normal "brownies-from-a-box-with-boughten-frosting-and-sprinkles-on-top" for our Bible study gathering on Tuesday night.

I had a carefully formulated and well thought out plan.  You see, there are these brownies/bars that I make that are my absolute favorite!!  They have a really long title, something like "Delicious Chewy Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bars."

And since I have discovered them about a year ago, I have made them many, many times and I think I can pretty much recite the recipe from heart.

1 cup of butter
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup of white sugar
1 T. vanilla
(Mix all of these together)

Add 1  1/4 cup peanut butter

Mix in 2 eggs.

Add:

2 cups of flour
2 cups of oatmeal
1 tsp baking soda

Then put in 1 bag of semi sweet chocolate chips.

Pour batter into a greased 9 X 13 pan and
Bake for about 25 minutes at 350 or until the edges are slightly golden brown.

(Yes, I just wrote that all down from memory, but now I will double check in case I made any mistakes. Nope. I got it right!)

These are the BEST bars.  They are chewy and kind of "heavy" but oh.so.yummy!  And they go PERFECTLY with my morning coffee.

My carefully formulated and well thought out plan was this:  I could make the bars for Bible study.  They probably wouldn't all get eaten.  I would have left-overs, but not have the whole pan there for me to eat too much of, you know. 

It worked out great! I took them to Bible study Tuesday night. About 3/4 of them got eaten. I brought the rest home.  I had one with my coffee yesterday morning. 

There were 2 left in the pan, I noted.  Yay! 

I got up this morning, got dressed and padded out to the kitchen to get my morning coffee going and to check up on the bars.

There was the pan. Right where I had left it.

But when I took a closer look to confirm that, yes, there was still at least one bar left (in case Jeremy had eaten one this morning), I literally gasped out loud.  BOTH bars were gone. The pan was empty except for a few measly crumbs scattered about!

What???!!  How could this be?  I was SO looking forward to a "Delicious Chewy Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bar" with my morning coffee!

I went through the first four stages of grief in about 30 seconds.

First, denial.  This can't be! Check the pan again. Yes. It is still empty. 

Secondly, anger.  How could Jeremy do this to me?  Doesn't he know how much I love those bars?  And to take TWO of them!!  I texted him in regards to my disappointment and sadness.

Third, bargaining.  Could I possibly make a pan of bars, bake them immediately, and still have one ready in time for my morning coffee?  Probably not gonna happen with the time I have available.

Fourthly, depression.   How did my morning just get ruined like this?  Will my day even be worthwhile?  Should I just crawl back into bed?  Is life really worth living with no brownie with my coffee?

And finally...acceptance.  Actually, it is 10:30 AM and I am still working on that one. 

You see, sometimes those you love can inflict the greatest pain.  Whoever said that must have had their husband take the last brownie too!


**added drama for effect.  But seriously. I was upset!

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RWOTD {Some}

I would think that anyone who has blogged for some length of time goes through those "non-writing" periods of their lives.

There can be many reasons for that. A new baby. A new job.  A change of schedule. Feeling like there is nothing new to say.  Or, like me lately, the things that are going on seem to be too hard to put into words. And even if you could, they feel too personal to share.  And the urge to write just kind of goes underground for a while.

I wouldn't even say that my desire to write has returned, but I thought I would give it a shot today. I do miss writing to a certain extent and I miss the interaction that comes with blogging.

So...here goes nothing (as the saying goes)

Since I have last blogged there has been...

{some} days of Christmas vacation for the kids.  Twelve days in a row off of school, to be exact. They flew by, for the most part!

Just chillin' on the coffee table.

{some} visiting with family.  Lots of that, actually.  Jeremy's parents came from Ohio over Christmas, bringing with them lots of gifts!  It was really nice to have them here!  And then we spent a day and a half over Christmas with my family.

(Jeremy's parents with the kids)

Playing "Dice" or "10,000" with the family

My Dad opening a gift our kids made for him and Mom (some personalized plates)

My oldest brother Loren and his wife Lourdes...lounging

My sister Debbie with her daughter Sherra

Jeremy's parents again...with Nikki

{some} good-byes.  My sister Lynette and her husband Paul left the Saturday after Christmas to move back to Grenada. For good.  It was hard to say good-bye.  They will be so missed!  And, my brother Joe left for a 6 week trip to Brazil around the same time.

Lynette and Paul - And my niece Lori

My brother Joe

{some} gifts were opened.  Ok. Lots of gifts.

I LOVE this picture of our family that Kendall drew.  For one, he made me super skinny.

The carnage.



{some} supernatural clarity about some issues in my life.  I continue to be amazed at how God is such a PERSONAL God and how He speaks to me in ways that I will understand and that are meaningful to me. (This blurb is the part that I could write pages and pages about...if I was able to put it all into words.)

{some} good times with friends. Including New Year's Eve.  We are so rockin' now that we are all in our 30's.  Do you know what us girls did on New Year's Eve??  We worked on a 1,000 piece puzzle.  It was super-duper hard and I complained a lot. 

This was not the puzzle we did, but this was one I did last weekend.

{some} re-evaluation of the way that I do life.  And relationships. Particularly my marriage.  Choosing to not let fear and old patterns control me.

{some} yummy food.  For sure.  Jeremy's Mom brought SO much candy it was insane.  I shared some and we still have a bunch of it around.  I made buckeyes and the day before the kids went back to school we finally got around to making sugar cookies.  They turned out awesome. For once.  And my Mom always goes "all out" with the Christmas meal, too!

Her hair was done in a whole bunch of little braids after we washed it so that "it would be curly for school" the next day.

{some} getting back into taking my multi-vitamin and exercising. Yes, those two are related. The multi-vitamin gives me the energy I need to be able to exercise.  Ironic how this point comes right after the "yummy food" part!

{some} dates with kids.  One for me with Kendall and one for Jeremy with Derrick.  Always a good time!

{some} sickness.  Every.last.one.of.us got the flu over Christmas break.  I had said some words to Jeremy about how he "catches the kids' sicknesses because he lets himself get too run down, blah, blah, blah" and then guess who got sick next??  And took a long time to get over it completely.  I guess I should learn to not speak quite so quickly.

{some} being stuck in a rut with suppers lately.  Taco soup.  Chicken and rice.  Fish and rice.  Potato soup. Meatballs and potatoes.  I am trying to make healthy meals and I feel like that always cuts down on my options.

{some} working on a living room re-do project with my friend/consultant Angie of "Melting Pot Interiors".  I am excited about it all and especially excited about the finished product! 

What have you been doing {some} of lately?]

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