Thankful Thursday

Because, more often than not, you need to decide to "act your way to better feeling". 

                                                

-- A heater under my desk at work so I don't have to be cold.

-- The library. We stopped there yesterday after school and left with about 20 books. For free. They did say we have to bring them back. Dang!

-- No snow.  It made my run/walk so much easier yesterday.  Have you ever tried running on packed snow?  Well, don't.

-- Truth. In whatever forms it comes to me.

-- Coffee creamer. Without it, I would not be drinking the rest of what is in the mug.

-- Silence.  I had some of it yesterday morning and it left me wanting more.

-- Grey skies.  Because then sunshine seems that much sweeter.

-- Friendships where grace is present. 

-- New ideas.

-- Warm clothing. And plenty of it!

-- The soft glow that the Christmas tree casts over our living room at night = peacefulness.

-- That I am not a problem to be solved. Even though a lot of my life it feels like I am.

-- Broccoli.  WITH cheese sauce.

-- Cashews.  They are yummy and healthy. And, like my friend told me recently... "No one ever got fat from eating nuts."

-- A husband who still not only puts up with me, but seems to like me.  Even after 14+ years.

-- Bright colors.  They are cheerful.

-- My hands.  No, seriously. Think about life with no hands.

-- Printable lunchbox notes for my kiddos. I hope it brightened their day.

-- Forgiveness.  Hope.  Peace.  Mercy.  Second chances. Those are some big ones.

-- People who aren't afraid to let their imperfections show. We're all broken.

-- We're all healthy again. After flu and whooping cough. Feels awesome.

-- Smooth writing pens.  Small happiness.

                                           

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RWOTD {Attention}

The famous Ann V. says, in her apparently un-edited book, (inside joke. Lisa!!) that "the only way to slow  the current of time is to weigh it down with our FULL attention."

I honestly have no idea how to make this happen.

I try. By times. I read in the book called "The Mindful Woman" that every so often throughout your day you should stop and close your eyes and think about anything that you can hear or see or smell or feel.

Its kind of a cool experiment. I've tried it. But I bet I haven't done that in close to a year!  I'm real good about sticking to things, apparently! 

Just today, I read about how they did a study that linked people of a lower/more healthy weight to the same people who ate their food slowly. With conscious thought. Not while reading or watching TV or whatever. Uh-oh.

I understand (in my head) the concept of weighing down the moments with my full attention.

When your child hugs you, I imagine that it would be good to really stop and feel the weight of their little arms around you. Breathe in the scent of their little body.  Look them in the eyes.

In a perfect world!!  Sigh.

In my world, a lot of days I say something like "Ok, let go of me, Nikki. I need to keep on making supper."

I feel a lot of guilt about the way that my days fly by and I seldom seem to concentrate on one thing at a time, much less have meaningful moments with my family.

But, on the other hand, I am not sure that it is really possible or feasible for a mom and wife.

I am thinking that even if I had ONE moment a day that I could really freeze in time and remember, I would be doing well.

Back when I did my "Noticer" series on my blog, I remember loving what I discovered through that -- the fact that my life is full of really rich, great moments.

I also remember learning that often what led to the great moments was doing something different than normal. Saying a "Yes" where I would have normally said "No".  And then really being present in that moment.

I DO recall a moment from yesterday.   Derrick wasn't feeling good. He had a headache and fever. At some point in the evening, he was standing up and I just gave him a hug and maybe asked him how he was feeling. (Ok, I guess I'm not SUPER clear on all the details.)  Anyway, this is what I remember:  As I hugged him, he actually leaned into me. Leaned against me.  And stayed there for more than a second.  His head fits right up against my collarbone...he's getting that tall.  I remember thinking that the hug seeemd to say "I still need you Mom.  I find comfort in your closeness.  I want to be hugged, even if it doesn't always seem like it." 

Maybe I could do this?  Set the alarm on my phone for a certain time each day and then make myself stop at that time and close my eyes and think about what I can see or smell or hear or feel. It could be a fun experiment.

I could do a trial run right now!! (Says the over-achiever within me!)

What I hear?  Two guys talking in the main part of the office.  The hum of the pellet mills vibrating on the other side of my office wall.  My little heater running (of and on) at my feet (because I'm always cold).  The clacking of the keys as I type.

I see my computer screen. I see a logger in the outer office, wearing all tan clothing and a tan hat, (why??)  telling a story in an animated way.  Papers in hand.  I see checks waiting to be signed. I see the big pink ring I am wearing on my right hand.  My water bottle.  Sticky notes.  The phone. Piles of papers.

I feel happy.  And relaxed. 

What can I smell?  Nothing, really.  Maybe my own perfume. I guess the air around here is scent-less.

I am interested in your tricks for learning to pay full attention to those special moments in your lives. Because God knows I can use all the help I can get!

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RWOTD {Raw}

 

In case you didn't know, there are many definitions of the word raw.

 

But I was thinking to focus more on definitions 9 - 11 (at least according to the "Free Dictionary").

 

9. Outspoken; crude: a raw portrayal of truth.

10. Powerfully impressive; stark: raw beauty; raw talent.

11. Nude; naked.

 

When I think of raw, I think of a co-worker whose Dad just died...way too young.  Raw grief.

 

I think of someone going through a divorce or a break-up.  Raw emotions.

 

A betrayal by a friend.  Raw hurt.

 

We talk about wanting people to be genuine.  Most people would say they value or that in a friend.

 

But when it crosses the line into raw, people shy away.

 

We're talking ugly crying and bursts of emotion and words spilling out faster than you can think them.  That kind of raw.

 

Few people are prepared for that. 

 

It has often amazed me...the intricacies of relationships. 

 

Be genuine. Be real.  Be yourself.  Don't be insecure. 

 

But don't be too weird.  Too raw.  Too needy. Too clingy or too full of pain.

 

Because then people can't deal with it.

 

Maybe I am jaded, I don't know. 

 

            

 

So often I censure my words, afraid of the reaction if I am too honest and too raw.  I have seen people recoil when the truth strikes them.  But I have also had people whose responses were like salve on my wounds.  Grace.  Compassion.  Love.     Amazing!! 

 

And I know that I have also been the one who has turned away from someone else's pain.  Their need. Because I didn't feel up to it or felt at a loss to know how to help or what to say.  I feel badly about that and wish that I would always choose to offer grace and understanding and a listening ear.  That I would always realize that someone choosing to open up to me is an honor.  And to honor them in return. 

 

I can also think of times that I was completely honest and raw with a friend or with my husband.  There is something healing that happens in those times of full disclosure and openness.  But there is also a great vulnerability that goes with it.  Vulnerability is a two-edged sword.  It can lead to greater closeness or it can drive a wedge.  A lot of times you never know until you make the decision to be vulnerable.

 

                                         

 

I would have to say that the closest and best friends in my life are people who know me at my ugliest and still love me.  There is a loyalty that is formed when raw emotions are shared and someone doesn't choose to walk away or withdraw.  And it can be a beautiful thing in a friendship.  Only you can know when you feel safe enough to trust someone to share something raw.  Its always a chance.

 

Its not that I think we all need to go around spilling out all of our raw emotion all of the time.  I feel like that would be pretty disasterous.

 

But I think all of us long for someone who really gets us and who is Ok with who we are deep down.  Where no one sees.  Where the hurts hide and the tears stay dammed up.  Someone who understands the lonely places of our soul.

 

I have come to realize that God is probably the only one who can really understand some parts of me.  And that is a hard thing for me! Because I want a living breathing person that I can touch and see who gets me like that.  Who can finish my sentences or know what I mean without me even having to say it.

 

But then what would drive us to God?  The One who loves us more than we can ever imagine and who "gets" us in the deepest and darkest parts of our soul.  The One who knows not only our past and our present, but also our future. 

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RWOTD {Appropriate}

I use this word all the time with my kids.  I looked up what it means and the dictionary says "fitting" or "proper for a particular situation", etc.

I will be heard saying things like "Nikki. That skirt is not appropriate for this cold weather."

or "Derrick. Do you really feel like kicking your brother was an appropriate response to the situation?"

I must use the word quite a lot, because before Nikki was even five and could barely say the word correctly, you could hear her going on about how the way someone acted just wasn't "appropriate".

I know that every person and every household has things that they consider to be apprpriate. or not.

In a lot of these things, it doesn't mean that one person or family is right and another is wrong, it is often just personal preference and what might be "fitting" for one person or in one family is not in another. 

I thought it might be fun to make a list of things that are considered appropriate in the Miller household:

**Starting to eat before we say our prayer of thanks.  I don't know exactly how this happened along the way, but now we do this thing where we sit down, start eating, and then whoever remembers and says "PRAY" is the person who gets to pick who prays that night.  Yeah. Maybe we should work on that.

**Light Swearing.  We don't bat an eye at words like ass or crap or dang, even from the kids.  But you use God's name in vain or call your Mom "woman" (this happened recently), you WILL see a reaction.

**Jumping/climbing on furniture or counters.  I especially do not have a problem with this. Jeremy does a little more. The only exception:  our sectional couch in the living room. 

**Only brushing your teeth once a day.  I seriously CANNOT get myself or my kids into the habit of brushing twice a day.  I know, I know.

**Unnecessary roughness.  Hey, we've got two boys. And they have to get rid of their aggression somehow.  Its all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. And then the fun and games stop.

**Questioning Mom and Dad about something.  Its totally fine. We're up for the discussion. But we are not talking about mouthing off or sassing or being disrespectful.  You'll know when you've crossed the line because you'll get "the look."

**Getting in a slippery sleeping bag and then bumping down the stairs.  Its great fun!  And hey, if you want to double or triple up in said sleeping bag, go for it.

**Looking at/reading books at bedtime. Not only is it appropriate, it is almost mandatory.  Just don't leave your light on too long or Mom and Dad might come to see why you're still up.

**Slightly inappropriate comments or jokes.  Yes, they're apparently appropriate. In fact, often Dad will laugh the loudest while Mom looks at him with eyes that say "I cannot.even.believe. you just laughed at that!!"

**Using Mom's I-phone.  Its best if you ask first though.

**Doing stunts and tricks and trying crazy things -- especially if your name is Kendall -- seems to be just fine.  Including the most recent...using a large ladder and climbing up on the roof of the pole shed. (I am hoping Gramma Betty isn't reading this!  But if she is...it was your son who gave him persmission

**Riding the dog like you are a cowboy and he is a bucking bull.  You won't last long on his back anyway. He's too smart for that.

**Changing clothes more than once a day.  Especially if your name is Nikki. Just remember: You generally have to fold and put away your own laundry.  So, to quote my kids "Burn!!"

**Or, conversely, sleeping in the clothing you wore all day long.  Happens way too often. I gave up that battle quite a long time ago.

**Eating in the living room.  If it is something that is not too crumbly or messy.



And then, maybe a list of things that are not considered appropriate at the Miller's.

**Walking around in your underwear.  Even if you are a boy.  Sorry. We just don't need to see that much of you. At least put some pants on.  (However, streaking does occassionally occur.)

**Burping.  At the table or not at the table.  I do not tolerate burping!!

**Fake crying.  This one mostly applies to Nikki at this point and she will generally get sent to her room if fake crying goes on for too long.

**Yelling or screaming.  Go outside if you're going to try to pull that crap.

**Taking food without asking.  Around our house, you don't get any food without checking with Mom first.

**Playing (or doing anything else) before you do your homework.  Absolutely not!!

**Saying things like "I won't be your friend if you do (or don't do) this or that."  Or other similar threats that are empty and meaningless and just wrong.

**Complaining about what I make for supper.  Oh.no, you did-n't!!  That'll get you in trouble fast.

**Making fun of others when they get in trouble. Or saying things like "Yeah, Kendall!" when I reprimand a certain child.  Watch that situation turn on you. And quite quickly.

**Name calling.  Nope. Not ok.


I am always interested in the differences in various households. What flies in one would be an absolute no-no in another.

Anyway, there's a little peak into our (however strange) little world!  I hope you enjoyed it.

Now, you can go ahead and leave an appopriate comment!

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It's Random {Again}

It is 7:06 on a Sunday morning.  One would think that I should be sleeping in.

But, no, because this blog was supposed to be done yesterday already, along with a list of about 4 other things that I wrote on a pink sticky note and put on my counter upstairs.

Things that I thought I would get done on one day but that get pushed to the next day drive me crazy. I wake up at 6 AM thinking of those things and must.get.them.done.immediately. Even if I very likely would have time this afternoon.  Its a chance I cannot take! ;-)

Yesterday was one of those days that I thought was pretty open (a Saturday at home without a defined list of projects!) until the day actually started happening.

Between doing bookwork, helping Jeremy outside, making a pumpkin roll, doing my grocery list and getting groceries, checking Facebook way too many times, and taking care of my family's (many) food needs...the day sped by and I didn't accomplish nearly what I wanted to.

So, here I sit.  Fueled, not by caffeine, but by water (apparently, drinking water before I have my coffee might be a good idea!) and an OCD spirit, I sit and blog.

And its oh.so.random.

Friday night Jeremy and I went on a date.  It was about time!  We ate at our favorite place in town, had great conversation and great food, and then went to a movie.  We have 4 movie choices at our theater, and we settled on "Taken 2" -- A CIA type movie with Liam Neeson.  It was only rated PG13, so I don't know what this says about me, but I cannot.even.deal. with scary movies. This one was adrenline packed almost from the moment we sat down. (We were a bit late.)  When movies get too scary and there are high speed chases and people getting killed left and right and guys sneaking around corners with their guns held up...ready to shoot at any instant, I get way too nervous.  I actually, literally shake.  Not a violent shake, but just like quivering. And I can't make it stop.

So I basically spent this entire movie shaking in fear of what was going to happen next. Even though it was a good story line, part way through I said to Jeremy "Yeah, next time let's go for the comedy!"  As you might guess, I am not drawn to a lot of horror films or violent movies!

It is true that life really is ALL about perspective.  I was feeling kind of guilty about the fact that I always put 2 packets of artificial sweetener in my coffee. Then my Dad told me about a woman they know who puts about 20 packets of real sugar in her coffee. And suddenly; I'm all better.  You know what?  Those two packets?  They're totally fine! (dismissive hand wave)

(The other morning, we had this beautiful frost on everything. I tried to capture it in photographs.)

Nikki and I continue to have clothing battles. Even though I have done everything I can to avoid them. Including picking out her clothing the night before and pretty much letting her wear whatever she dang well wants to wear.

But, here is the new fight. She wants to change her mind in the morning about the clothing she picked the night before.  Is not the whole point of picking the clothing at night so that we don't have to deal with it in the morning?  The other day, it took her 20 minutes to get dressed.  Between losing some privileges and her prize for the week, she still continued to argue and basically just fool around until I couldn't imagine how anyone could possibly take that long to put on 5 pieces of clothing.

Apparently, sleep makes her MORE unreasonable.  Because an outfit that she was excited about and wanted to wear the night before is suddenly cause for tears and much arguing.  I am sick.of.it.  I hope we get this worked out before she is a teen and the clothing battles could tend to be a bit more important.

If you came to my house and saw the three pictures of my children on my bookcase, you would notice that Kendall's picture is a bit more fuzzy than the rest.  Want to know why? 

I will tell you. 

He decided he did not want to do school pictures this year.  I wasn't feeling super opinionated about that, so I said he didn't have to.  Well, they take everyone's picture anyway, even if you didn't place an order, and then they send a paper home showing you the pictures but they have "Copyrighted" or some other annoying word in big letters across them.

But...they have this really small picture on a little identification card that they do for every kid.  I guess that is where they made the mistake.  I cut out that tiny little picture...scanned it into my computer...printed it out as a 5 X 7, and wa-la.  A current picture for his frame. I felt like such a winner!

Does this ever happen to you? You are talking with a friend or friends, and you are expounding on your opinion on a certain subject. All of a sudden, you realize that what you are saying somehow could be taken wrong by someone else in the group.  Like, maybe they will think you are trying to send a not-so subtle message to them.  Saying something about it could almost make it worse...in case it never occured to them how this particular discussion dove-tailed into another one you had with them earlier.

You know that you didn't mean to make a point or say anything indirectly to them, but they don't know that.  I hate when this happens. And it happens on a fairly regular basis. At least twice in the last week. Where I was in the middle of talking and realized "Oh, sh**! I hope they don't think that this was to make a point to them!"

Here's what you need to know about me. I think I can sincerely say that I never really communicate like that. If I have a point to make, I will tend to say it straight up.  So if that ever happens in a conversation between you and I, you can safely assume I was NOT trying to get my point across in a round about way. Because that's not my style.  There...I got that off my chest!

I have the rare privilege of seeing my friend Kristy the other day.  Yes, I had to drive a couple of hours each way to see her, but since she is from Idaho and only gets to Wisconsin once in a while, I was happy to do it!  We met at a McDonald's. She had two of her kids with her, so that made conversation a bit more interesting, but we got creative in our ways to keep them entertained.

Kristy is one of my longest-standing friendships.  Along with a few other great friends from that era when I was about 16 or 17.  Our friendship has had some bumps in the road, but we never let it keep us from staying connected and working out whatever little things could have possibly driven us apart.  I realized, driving home, that I have been friends with her longer than I haven't been!

We were both from Wisconsin, but she got married and moved to Idaho.  Now, when she is in Wisconsin, we pretty much always try to get together, and we have been to visit them in Idaho a few times. Plus, we've met up in South Dakota (the mid-way point between us) two different times.

Anyway, I just felt so happy as I was driving home from spending time with her. She's been such a great friend and I appreciate her so much!  She described it perfectly in a text she sent me.  She said she just felt such a "warm glow of friendship" after our time together. I couldn't have said it better myself!

(I have more random subjects than current photos, so now we're going back into the summer archives!)

Friday I went to school and ate lunch with Kendall and then volunteered in his classroom for close to an hour.  Is it weird that I kind of enjoy being called "Mrs. Miller."  It makes me feel like maybe I totally could have been a teacher...if I would have just wanted to be. (Which is a complete joke, if I'm being honest. I am not patient enough to be a teacher!!)  It makes me feel kind of young and hip, but in a grown up way.  Plus, I am confident enough in my blonde "Mom-shell" status that I don't mind being looked at as Mrs. Miller! Ha, ha!

Plus, kids say the darndest things. They really do.  And at that age, many of them still look up to adults, love to hang out with them, and talk with them.  Its really quite fun!

I do something very weird when I am brushing my teeth. And I feel like we have reached a point in our relationship where I should share this with you.

I don't stand at the sink and brush me teeth. Oh, no.  I don't even stay in the bathroom.  What I do is walk around and do other things while I am brushing my teeth.  Now, we all know that you need at least one hand to brush your teeth.  But, the other hand can be used to pick up stray items off the floor, try to put in one's earrings, or finish getting dressed.

The things I try to do while brushing my teeth are super random and I feel like are a good representation of why multi-tasking does not always make much sense.  Because, often, the stuff that I find to do requires both of my hands.  So what ends up happening is that my toothbrush dangles from my mouth while I put on my shoes and socks or pack the lunches. 

And it ends up taking me way longer to brush my teeth. But it makes me feel like I got something done instead of standing there in front of that mirror for 2 minutes.

Friday night as Jeremy and I sat down to dinner, he looked around the restaurant and mentioned "Oh, there is so-and-so over at that table."  We knew both couples only as acquaintances, but I knew all 4 of their first and last names.

This led into a discussion about how I often feel like I know/recognize/could name a lot more people around town than people who know me.  These two couples, for instance?  Would they even recognize Jeremy or I?  Much less know our names?

This sort of thing makes me very curious. I proposed an idea to Jeremy.  I set out on a quest to find out how many people I know versus how many know me.  (I think I am very good with faces and names. Whether I am or not would remain to be seen, I guess!)  I told him that I could keep a little notebook in my purse, and then when I run into someone whose name I know, I could just go up to them, whip out my notebook, tell them about my project, and see if they know who I am.

I would keep score.  One point for first name and one point for last name.  If I know both of theirs, I get two points.  Same for them. And in time, I would know if my hypothesis is true.

Jeremy was totally afraid to dare me to do this at the restaurant because he knew I was way to serious about it to mess around with daring me. 

I think that this is an awesome idea and could lead to some great stories.  With PLENTY of awkwardness between.

I haven't bought the notebook yet.  I'll keep you posted! ;-)

This has gotten embarrassingly long.

Its one of those posts where you feel like you should say "If you made it this far, you deserve some sort of award!"   And now my mind is free of random clutter.

Thank you!  Really.  Thank you!

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Recent Happenings & Thoughts

Someone has been begging and begging to get her ears pierced.

Jeremy and I had never talked about the age that we felt it was appropriate for a girl to get her ears pierced, but since neither of us saw any reason for 5 not being the perfect age...

...I surprised her the other day and took her to Claire's to get her ears pierced.

She still can't say her "r's", so I guess I actually took her to get her "eaws piewced". 

Sitting in the chair waiting.  SUPER excited!

This is Nikki's very nervous, scared look.  Just before they put the earrings in.

She told me later that she just kept thinking to herself "Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry."  And she didn't.

And...we're all done.  She picked out some cute little "Hello Kitty" earrings.  She'll need to leave those in for 6 - 8 weeks, but still, we walked around Claire's and picked out a pair for when she can switch these out.

I think she's going to like dangly earrings, just like her Mama. 

Did you know that when you get your ears pierced at Claire's, they then give you a coupon for 50% off of anything in the store? I thought that was pretty awesome!

I picked out a ring, Nikki got some silver nail polish, and I got some black and silver hoop earrings and some nail polish.  All for 50% off.  Holla!!!

And then we went to the toy store for a while (just to look) and went and got ice cream.

It was a good date with my girlie!

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I am a 34 year old grown woman with three children.  Yet, a week or so ago, I asked my Mom if she would wash the windows of my house for me as a birthday present.  Yes, I asked her.

Not without shame or guilt, but my hatred of window washing over-rode those previously mentioned emotions.

I knew she would say yes, because she has done it for me before.  But always of her own will, not upon request.

She told me that she will come and do it on the next sunny day when she has time, and yesterday afternoon, when I had all of my bookwork done for the day, supper planned, and plans to read and relax in my quiet house, I found myself badly hoping that this would not be the (quite sunny) afternoon she chose to come and clean my windows. 

Because if she cleans them while I am gone, I feel less guilty than if I am there.  And if she would be cleaning them while I sat in my blue chair and read???? That would probably be too much for even me and I would have to go out and offer to help.

And that...I did not want to do.

She didn't show up and the problem was solved.  But I found myself amazed and appalled at my lack of maturity.  I am a 34 year old grown woman with three children.  And yet I cannot bear to spend 3 or 4 hours cleaning my windows.

Where did I go wrong?

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I felt like this happening needed documentation, because this is probably the neatest and cleanest you will EVER see our closet.

Jeremy and I share a closet. I wouldn't say it is exactly 50/50, but I won't tell you whose stuff takes up more space. ;-)  These pictures are just of my half (the term "half" being used loosely here) of the closet.

We have been saying for a while that we have got.to.clean.that.closet and inspiration struck the other night and within a couple of hours, it was looking much, much better.

I didn't take any before pictures because, yes, I do have some level of self-respect left. 

I could imagine some of you looking at my after pictures and wondering if they are actually my before pictures!!

I have never been accused of being a minimalist. 

But I did decide that I am going to majorly empty out the clothing in my closet and see how I do with that. If I can actually see the pieces that I own, might I be able to be more creative with how I put outfits together?

So, that first picture you see...that is what is left hanging in my closet.  It is probably the least clothing I have had in my closet for close to 10 years.  I know. I know.  I have issues.

The picture below is all of the additional stuff that WAS hanging in my closet before I did the cleaning.  It now resides in the hall closet for the time being.

What can I say?  Whose got two thumbs and likes to shop???   This girl!! (Picture me pointing both of those thumbs emphatically at myself)

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I used to be bored a lot.  Not bored enough to wash my windows of course, but just bored in general.

When I was a new Mom and was home part time with my one child, I remember being bored a lot.  I would complain about it frequently and try to figure out solutions to not being bored.

A conversation with friends the other day about boredom reminded me that it has been YEARS since I have uttered those words.

Somewhere along the way, between the three kids and work and friends and husband and my insatiable desire to read...I never ever find myself bored anymore.

I imagine that I should feel grateful for this.

I think maybe I do.

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Jeremy and I are planning a weekend away soon.  We usually try to go away once for our anniversary (in February) and then in the fall.

This year we are running a little bit late.

We were discussing possible things to do and I (quite fairly, I might say) accused Jeremy of having a narrow list of interests.

I tried to get him excited about going to the "Spinning Top Museum" in Burlington, Wisconsin.  It is where they have all kinds of toy tops on display and other cool toys, etc.  He wasn't buying.

I told him how easy I am to please and how I would love to tour the "Spinning Top" museum.   He then made a comment that I can't write on here, there was some laughter, and the subject was dropped.

Almost everything I suggest to him (OK, the Top Museum was meant as a bit of joke) he is kind of like "Nah" about.

What seems to happen is that we always end up going to one of two larger towns around here, we get a hotel, we sleep in, and then we're like "Well, what shall we do?" and since we have no plan, we end up going shopping. Which Jeremy doesn't enjoy either. Sometimes he naps in the vehicle while I shop. Romantic, huh?

This year, I have decided it is going to be different. We are not going to settle for eating out and shopping/sleeping.

I am doing research and I am planning!!  We are going to a different city and I am finding things that Jeremy would love to do!

Hopefully, it will be a weekend to remember!!

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I am reading a book right now called 'Tripping the Prom Queen."  It is about women and rivalries and jealousy, etc.

The book is shocking me.  If half of the stuff is true (pretty sure it is, since the author interviewed many women and quotes them verbatim throughout the book) about the way that women's minds work and how jealous and competitive they can be...it is no wonder that there are lots of catfights and drama among women.

What is the solution to all of this?

I think it lies in being confident in who we are in God's eyes and knowing that we are never going to be the best at everything...and that's ok. 

And also learning to be genuinely happy for our friends when good things happen to them.  Because don't we want them to be happy for us when good things happen in our lives?

I am thankful to say that I have many friends who do not fit the description that this book presents, but it has raised some questions in my mind.

I want to be aware in friendships but I never want to be paranoid of other people or the kind of person who is always looking for the hidden meaning.

******************************************************

And that's a wrap on "Recent Happenings and Thoughts".

Happy Tuesday to you all!

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RWOTD {Character}

I heard this definition of character a long time ago and I think it is a really good one.

Because when no one is looking and especially when you think no one will find out, the temptation to make a bad choice is a lot greater.  What keeps us on track and helps us to make the right choice?  Character.  That which is truly inside of us comes out when we are in a situation where we think we can "get away with" something. (I realize you don't truly get away with something...God always sees, but you know what I mean.)

I certainly cannot claim that I have always done a good job of this.  Nor that I always get it right now-a-days.

The word of the day and this quote just reminded me of a discussion with friends and then a story from this past summer.

I usually am a pretty black and white thinker and often, when given a possible scenario, I know what I think about it and how I would respond.  This can be a blessing and a curse.

One day, some friends and I got to talking about what happens if you find money lying around. Is it right to keep it?  Should you turn it in somewhere?  Do you assume it is an unexpected gift from God?

I have had a very strict policy about this, because, in my mind, its not mine.  Taking the money would be stealing.  I have always taught our children the same thing.  Even if the rightful owner never does come back and find it, it doesn't belong to me!  Even if the next person WILL pick it up and I will miss out on the money, that is also not my problem. My conscience is clear.

I found that what, to me, seems very black and white, is quite a grey area for pretty much everyone else I talked to.  Including my husband. Everyone had their different nuances and stipulations for whether they would pick up the money or not.

I was sticking to my guns, though.

Fast forward a week or two and we were camping at the local KOA campground.  Our kids were riding their bikes around and exploring the campground.  All of a sudden, Kendall comes back to our campsite and he was all excited! He had found a $20 bill lying on the ground outside of the office.

"Can I keep it? Can I keep it?", he asked excitedly.

He took it like a little man when I told him that, no, he couldn't keep it.  At least not until we gave the rightful owner a chance to claim it.

He went with me to the office where we explained to the lady behind the counter that he had found this money, but that we didn't want to keep it if someone else was looking for it.  She put it behind the counter with Kendall's name on it and we told her that we would check back the following morning before we left. If no one had come looking for the money, then Kendall could have it.

I fully expected it to be there when we got there the next morning, but I figured Kendall would be learning a lesson in the process.

Well, the next morning we headed to the office before we left, and when we inquired about the $20 that Kendall had turned in the day before, they told us that someone had, in fact, come to claim it. It was a young girl who was SOO happy to learn that someone had found that $20 she had lost and brought it to the office. The super cool thing was, she left $5 of it for Kendall and a gift (one of those duct tape wallets) and a note telling him "Thank You!"  Also, her brother (he was maybe 10 or so) was there in the office at the time and when he heard us talking he said to Kendall "Hey, are you the guy who found my sister's money?" and when he learned that Kendall was, in fact, the one, he shook his hand like a man and told him "Thank you" and said how nice that was of Kendall.

I like to think that this story will stick with Kendall for the rest of his life.  And the good feeling that you get from doing what you know is right is worth more than money!

Now, knowing all of this backstory, let me tell you another little story.

A few weeks ago we were at a "Savers" thrift store.  I was looking through the used books, including a nice Bible that I was thinking about buying.

As I was paging through, I saw a folded, handwritten note tucked in the Bible.  It said "Meghan" on the outside and there were a bunch of doodles around her name. Being the curious person that I am, I opened it up.

It was the sweetest little love note from a guy named "Hans T" to Meghan.  He talked about how he really cared about her as a friend and thought a lot of her and how he could see the light of Jesus shining through her. And then he signed it "Love always..."

I wondered if they ever dated or gotten married?  I wondered how old they were? Where they were from? What was the rest of the story of their relationship?

I am very fascinated by this sort of thing and so I thought about it for a bit, and then I took that little note out of the Bible (I didn't buy the Bible) and I stuck it in my coat pocket. To take home with me.  If this is weird, then so be it.  I don't mind being a bit quirky.

I have no idea what I plan to do with this note, but I am thinking of starting a collection of notes and letters I find in old books, because I buy a lot of used and old books.

Anyway, when I was telling Jeremy about all of this, he said "How could you feel right about taking that note? That doesn't belong to you!!"

He was TOTALLY ribbing me about the way he knows I feel about picking up money that doesn't belong to me.

I got a very sheepish look on my face and then when he added "What if they come back looking for that note?" I hardly knew what to say.

He was using the very words that I had said about the money...laughing at me all the while.

I felt kind of guilty.  But in my mind, its not the same.  I guess that this is where my grey area comes in.  And my inconsistency!

My character might be called into question now, because while I would never take money that doesn't belong to me, it appears that I am willing to steal sentimental notes written to Meghan.

I'm curious what others think about all of this.  What would you do in either situation?

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