Thursday, January 31, 2013

RWOTD {Whispered}

This is something I have come to realize:

If you don't hear what is whispered to you, eventually you won't hear a shout either. The ears of your soul become deaf from lack of use.

I am so glad that I serve a God who {most often} uses whispered thoughts as a way to communicate with me.  I am glad that He doesn't demand or force His way in my life or yell at me.  Because I don't think that is what love looks like.

This is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately...the whispers of God's wisdom.

He gives us our intuition and Godly wisdom {not OUR wisdom...note the difference} for a reason. 

I have too often ignored God's whispered warnings and ended up regretting it.  He loves me enough to care about the trouble I may be walking towards or the situation that may end badly if I don't pay attention to my intuition.

But when I let "obvious facts" override God-given wisdom...the results are usually not good.

I think that part of the reason we ignore whisperings is because we are too busy cruising through life on auto-pilot to really pay attention to the small stirrings in our hearts and souls. 

When we actually slow down and take the time to listen to what our heart is telling us, it can be quite enlightening. Maybe even a little scary in some ways, which may be the reason we don't "go there" more often.

Having the confidence and trust in God that leads to a confidence within ourselves as we face the myraid of situations that life throws at us is priceless.  And not to be tossed aside as if it is lacking value.

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Due to a number of circumstances in my life, I have recently went through a period of time where I had a lot of doubt in my own ability to hear God's voice.  It feels quite unsettling to second guess everything, to not be sure of yourself and to just pile guilt on yourself for things that maybe aren't even your issue.

God has shown me, in a most kind and loving and uplifting way, that I am able to trust myself. To not get too caught up in other people's opinions. To trust my instincts. To state my needs with clarity.  To hear His whispers. 

And then to CHOOSE to rest in that.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Watching TV = Quality Time ??

Sunday was just one of those days.

It started out great and all, but by mid afternoon when the husband was taking a nap and the kids were grouchy from getting to bed too late the night before, things had taken a downhill turn.

Jeremy had plans to be gone all evening and I was home with the kiddos.

Do you ever have those days when you are just fairly sick of your kids?  Your patience is just wearing quite thin?  You feel the beginnings of a small nervous breakdown?

Like, what you really want is an empty house and a bubble bath and a glass of wine.  Not three kids who are bouncing off the walls and bugging each other and asking if they "couldn't just have another snack."

You can try to change your attitude.  You can pray.  You can give a shot at playing games with them or reading to them, both of which may not end well.

(Picture this:  poor sports when they didn't win the game and Mom eventually saying "I'm not playing with you guys if you can't act decent" and fighting over who gets to hold the book, etc.)

Or, you can say...to heck with it...and turn on the TV and make some popcorn.

And all will be well.   Sanity will reign.

I have long felt like TV is a poor substitute for, well, pretty much anything.

Whether we are talking adults or children, TV watching is not high on my list of things that people should be spending their time doing.

Not to say I haven't used the TV as a babysitter at times throughout the years. Especially when my kids were little and I had bookwork I needed to get done! But I have always felt guilty about it. 

I know it is not completely consistant because I would rather be working on something and the children playing something (separately) than having all of us sitting down and watching TV together.

To me...TV watching together does not equal quality time.  I know lots of people who do look at it that way. The whole family sitting down.  Spending time together. 

But in my mind, there is virtually no interacting happening.  Really, you're spending quality time with the TV and people happen to be sitting beside you. 

Even with Jeremy and I...we watch a show together because we want to see it...not because it brings some sort of connection to us.

Somehow, I feel like a wimp when I take the easy route of "Hey, you guys wanna watch TV with me" instead of doing something more interactive with the kids.

But maybe, instead of being a wimp, I'm just stupid. 

Either way, Sunday night was one of those times that I felt the occassion called for it.

So I made a huge batch of popcorn and we sat around watching "Penguins of Madagascar" and shoving handfuls of popcorn into our mouths.

Like I told Jeremy later, "I figured that option would be the best for the kids and for me." 

Sometimes, being a Mom is about knowing when you've had enough and making choices accordingly.

And I like to think that's OK.
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Thursday, January 24, 2013

RWOTD {Lesson}

A Lesson I Never Forgot


Once upon a time, back before the days of cell phones and texting, there lived a teenage girl.

Now, this teenage girl had a tendency to like boys.  Quite a lot.

In fact, sometimes, spending time with boys was preferable to spending time with girls. 

There was, as is often the case, a certain boy that this girl had a small(ish) crush on.  He was a little older and quite handsome and the girl wondered if he even noticed her. 

But, sometimes they would hang out and talk and the girl would enjoy that very much.

One night, a group of friends, including this boy and girl, went to a local fast food restaurant and hung out for a while, chatting and having a good time.

Lo and behold, ten o'clock rolled around and the only people who remained, standing there talking in the parking lot, were this boy and this girl.

It was a cool evening, so the boy suggested they hop into his truck to chat.  This seemed like a good sign to the girl, so she agreed.

(Maybe you think you know where this is going, but you don't.  Believe me.)

That sat and chatted in the warmth of the truck cab for what seemed like a half hour, but in reality, the time was getting later and later and no one really saw any reason to leave a great conversation.

It may or may not have been around one in the morning, when, in the midst of a great discussion, the girl noticed a vehicle pulling up beside the truck she was sitting in.

Not thinking much of it at first glance, she soon realized, to her horror, that the vehicle that had pulled up belonged to her Dad.  And that now he was at her passenger's side window, requesting an audience with the teenage girl.

It seems as though the Dad had been waiting up for his teenage daughter to come home.  As the time got later and later and he couldn't sleep, he decided to get in his car and take a little drive.

It wasn't hard to find her, since she was still in the parking lot of the restaurant where he knew she had been earlier.

But, oh how the girl was mortally embarrassed!! To be tracked down by your Dad and told to "Get home immediately" while in the presence of a boy whom she liked very much.  Now that was humiliating.

Although I can tell you this.  It was a lesson she never forgot.  And she never stayed out in trucks with boys past mid-night again. 

At least not without first letting her Dad know where she was.


**Names have been changed to protect privacy.  Although some sisters or sister-in-laws of "the boy" may read my blog and put two and two together! 
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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Mama, Mama, Morning Drama...

Those simple pleasures in life...like finding a quarter in the washing machine or making an awesome salad for lunch or getting to sit down and read for a long awaited 30 minutes...they make our world's go 'round.

It is the little things that make up the days and keep us feeling excited about life!

But sometimes...our expectations come crashing down around us.  And one of our little moments in stolen away from us.  Just.like.that.

One of my best friends recently "accused" me of being dramatic.  This was a very hard pill for me to swallow, and, as a matter of fact, that particular pill may still be stuck in my throat.

Me?  Dramatic?  Intense. Maybe.  Strong-willed. Sure.  Opionated.  I guess so.  But dramatic?  I'm not exactly liking the connotations that brings up in my mind.

So, let me share this little story with you and I guess I will leave it up to you to decide whether I am dramatic or not. 

I need to back-track a few days to Monday afternoon.  I decided to bake something different than my normal "brownies-from-a-box-with-boughten-frosting-and-sprinkles-on-top" for our Bible study gathering on Tuesday night.

I had a carefully formulated and well thought out plan.  You see, there are these brownies/bars that I make that are my absolute favorite!!  They have a really long title, something like "Delicious Chewy Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bars."

And since I have discovered them about a year ago, I have made them many, many times and I think I can pretty much recite the recipe from heart.

1 cup of butter
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup of white sugar
1 T. vanilla
(Mix all of these together)

Add 1  1/4 cup peanut butter

Mix in 2 eggs.

Add:

2 cups of flour
2 cups of oatmeal
1 tsp baking soda

Then put in 1 bag of semi sweet chocolate chips.

Pour batter into a greased 9 X 13 pan and
Bake for about 25 minutes at 350 or until the edges are slightly golden brown.

(Yes, I just wrote that all down from memory, but now I will double check in case I made any mistakes. Nope. I got it right!)

These are the BEST bars.  They are chewy and kind of "heavy" but oh.so.yummy!  And they go PERFECTLY with my morning coffee.

My carefully formulated and well thought out plan was this:  I could make the bars for Bible study.  They probably wouldn't all get eaten.  I would have left-overs, but not have the whole pan there for me to eat too much of, you know. 

It worked out great! I took them to Bible study Tuesday night. About 3/4 of them got eaten. I brought the rest home.  I had one with my coffee yesterday morning. 

There were 2 left in the pan, I noted.  Yay! 

I got up this morning, got dressed and padded out to the kitchen to get my morning coffee going and to check up on the bars.

There was the pan. Right where I had left it.

But when I took a closer look to confirm that, yes, there was still at least one bar left (in case Jeremy had eaten one this morning), I literally gasped out loud.  BOTH bars were gone. The pan was empty except for a few measly crumbs scattered about!

What???!!  How could this be?  I was SO looking forward to a "Delicious Chewy Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bar" with my morning coffee!

I went through the first four stages of grief in about 30 seconds.

First, denial.  This can't be! Check the pan again. Yes. It is still empty. 

Secondly, anger.  How could Jeremy do this to me?  Doesn't he know how much I love those bars?  And to take TWO of them!!  I texted him in regards to my disappointment and sadness.

Third, bargaining.  Could I possibly make a pan of bars, bake them immediately, and still have one ready in time for my morning coffee?  Probably not gonna happen with the time I have available.

Fourthly, depression.   How did my morning just get ruined like this?  Will my day even be worthwhile?  Should I just crawl back into bed?  Is life really worth living with no brownie with my coffee?

And finally...acceptance.  Actually, it is 10:30 AM and I am still working on that one. 

You see, sometimes those you love can inflict the greatest pain.  Whoever said that must have had their husband take the last brownie too!


**added drama for effect.  But seriously. I was upset!
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RWOTD {Twice}

You have all probably heard the old saying "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

But what does it mean?  And how does it apply to the life of a follower of Jesus?  How does forgiveness fit into the picture?

These are some questions that I have been thinking about.

We've all been "burned" by people in our lives.  Someone who we thought could be trusted betrayed us. And we've probably been the betrayer a time or two as well.


Maybe you thought a relationship was built on certain foundations and then you realized that those foundations weren't there at all...and that the whole thing was built on lies and misconceptions.

Just today I was talking with an acquaintance about an ex-boyfriend of her's.  She is trying to decide whether she should get back together with him.  He has been pursueing her.  It is flattering. He says he has changed.  Should she believe him and take him back? 

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."



This is what I told her and something that I believe I have learned from personal experience.  Unless a person can tell you WHY or WHAT has changed them (a specific experience, an encounter with God, an eye-opening wake up call), they probably haven't changed. People can modify their behavior for a period of time to get what they want, but true change has a source that usually can be traced.

But, then, in the life of a Christian, where do wisdom and cautiousness collide with love and forgiveness and grace?  And what does that look like? 

Big questions.  Elusive answers.

I know that one thing I need to keep in the fore-front of my mind is what grace that I have been shown. By God and by others. To remember the times that I have messed up and been in the wrong.  Not with a sense of shame, but with a sense of realizing how vulnerable I am to making mistakes and how much I need HIS guidance.  Always.



I don't think that there is a cookie cutter answer.  I am sure various situations are different.  Maybe the history that you have with the person otherwise comes into play.  I also believe that there are times God asks you to do something that is beyond your comfort zone and you need to obey. But I also believe that God gives us a sense of intuition and wisdom when it comes to tricky relationship situations.  And I have learned to trust that as if He was speaking out loud to me.  He gives us those intuitions for a reason and too many times I have second guessed my intuition and later regretted it. 

But I am curious.  What are your thoughts?  Have you ever given someone a "second chance" and regretted it?  Or have you been happy that you extended that gift of trust again, even when it felt scary?

Do you walk away from a relationship when you sense a pattern that is not healthy, or do you tend to stick it out in hopes that things change? What are some ground rules for building relationships after you have been "fooled" once?



And so...this is where the random word of the day {twice} led me in my thinking!  Hopefully you followed along!
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RWOTD {Some}

I would think that anyone who has blogged for some length of time goes through those "non-writing" periods of their lives.

There can be many reasons for that. A new baby. A new job.  A change of schedule. Feeling like there is nothing new to say.  Or, like me lately, the things that are going on seem to be too hard to put into words. And even if you could, they feel too personal to share.  And the urge to write just kind of goes underground for a while.

I wouldn't even say that my desire to write has returned, but I thought I would give it a shot today. I do miss writing to a certain extent and I miss the interaction that comes with blogging.

So...here goes nothing (as the saying goes)

Since I have last blogged there has been...

{some} days of Christmas vacation for the kids.  Twelve days in a row off of school, to be exact. They flew by, for the most part!

Just chillin' on the coffee table.

{some} visiting with family.  Lots of that, actually.  Jeremy's parents came from Ohio over Christmas, bringing with them lots of gifts!  It was really nice to have them here!  And then we spent a day and a half over Christmas with my family.


(Jeremy's parents with the kids)

Playing "Dice" or "10,000" with the family

My Dad opening a gift our kids made for him and Mom (some personalized plates)

My oldest brother Loren and his wife Lourdes...lounging

My sister Debbie with her daughter Sherra

Jeremy's parents again...with Nikki

{some} good-byes.  My sister Lynette and her husband Paul left the Saturday after Christmas to move back to Grenada. For good.  It was hard to say good-bye.  They will be so missed!  And, my brother Joe left for a 6 week trip to Brazil around the same time.

Lynette and Paul - And my niece Lori

My brother Joe

{some} gifts were opened.  Ok. Lots of gifts.

I LOVE this picture of our family that Kendall drew.  For one, he made me super skinny.





The carnage.


{some} supernatural clarity about some issues in my life.  I continue to be amazed at how God is such a PERSONAL God and how He speaks to me in ways that I will understand and that are meaningful to me. (This blurb is the part that I could write pages and pages about...if I was able to put it all into words.)


{some} good times with friends. Including New Year's Eve.  We are so rockin' now that we are all in our 30's.  Do you know what us girls did on New Year's Eve??  We worked on a 1,000 piece puzzle.  It was super-duper hard and I complained a lot. 


This was not the puzzle we did, but this was one I did last weekend.

{some} re-evaluation of the way that I do life.  And relationships. Particularly my marriage.  Choosing to not let fear and old patterns control me.

{some} yummy food.  For sure.  Jeremy's Mom brought SO much candy it was insane.  I shared some and we still have a bunch of it around.  I made buckeyes and the day before the kids went back to school we finally got around to making sugar cookies.  They turned out awesome. For once.  And my Mom always goes "all out" with the Christmas meal, too!


Her hair was done in a whole bunch of little braids after we washed it so that "it would be curly for school" the next day.

{some} getting back into taking my multi-vitamin and exercising. Yes, those two are related. The multi-vitamin gives me the energy I need to be able to exercise.  Ironic how this point comes right after the "yummy food" part!

{some} dates with kids.  One for me with Kendall and one for Jeremy with Derrick.  Always a good time!


{some} sickness.  Every.last.one.of.us got the flu over Christmas break.  I had said some words to Jeremy about how he "catches the kids' sicknesses because he lets himself get too run down, blah, blah, blah" and then guess who got sick next??  And took a long time to get over it completely.  I guess I should learn to not speak quite so quickly.

{some} being stuck in a rut with suppers lately.  Taco soup.  Chicken and rice.  Fish and rice.  Potato soup. Meatballs and potatoes.  I am trying to make healthy meals and I feel like that always cuts down on my options.

{some} working on a living room re-do project with my friend/consultant Angie of "Melting Pot Interiors".  I am excited about it all and especially excited about the finished product! 

What have you been doing {some} of lately?]
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If It Makes You Happy...

I read this quote on Pinterest months ago.

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I have literally been rolling this around in my head for months.  Trying to decide if I think this is a true statement.  (It also reminds me a Sheryl Crow song, but that might be beside the point.  You know the one? "If it makes you happy, It can't be that baaa-aaa-aaddd". There is also a line in that song that has always puzzled me. It goes like this "Put on a poncho, played for misquitoes, and drank till I was thirsty again".)

I get the part about doing things that make you feel happy. Alive. Things that are fun for you and bring you calm and joy. 

But doesn't it seem really self-centered? What about doing more of what you know will make others happy? Isn't that where true happiness comes from?

Could be that I am over-thinking it! ;-)  But hey, that makes me happy, so its all good!

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Jeremy and I had an awesome 25 hours together this past weekend.  I think Sunday may have gone down in the history of "The Jeremy & Audrey marriage" as the day when we did the most NOTHING we had ever done in a day.  My sister and her husband had the kids on Saturday from about 2 PM on and we picked them up on Sunday about 4 PM. 

We slept in Sunday morning. We made and ate some breakfast.  We watched some "Duck Dynasty." We hung out on the couch doing not much of anything.  We crawled back into bed.  I made some whoopie pies that turned out awesome.  We just hung out in the house ALL day until it was time to go get the kids.  It was so much fun!

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We also went out for dinner on Saturday evening. I choose the restaurant that I wanted to go to based on the fact that I was super hungry for some perfectly steamed vegetables.  Yeah, not the normal criteria for choosing a restaurant.

Who cares about atmosphere or price or entrees...all I was after was some perfectly steamed broccoli.  And guess what?  I got it!  It made me much happier than broccoli should ever make someone.

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And while we're talking about food...I found a new favorite meal at our local coffee shop.  The veggie quesadilla.  It comes with the soup of the day and chips and a mint and it was totally ah-mazing!!  I will definitely be back for that.  It was one of those times I was super happy that I branched out from my norm.

Most times, venturing away from my favorite meal at a particular place ends in disappointment.  But for once, my sense of adventure got me somewhere good.

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Sorry. Still not done with the food theme.

Yesterday I made cake balls for the first time.  Doesn't that just have such a nice ring to it?  Cake balls. Say it once more.

Seriously? I know they are shaped like balls and they have cake in them, but how about calling them "Heavenly Bites" or "Cake Poppers" or even something random like "Melties".

I feel like almost ANY other name would be an improvement.

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These verses have been my theme lately. 

(Philippians 4: 6 - 9)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I have been reading them every morning.  God knows I need this right now.

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Jeremy and I talk about this statement sometimes.

"The right thing is seldom the easy thing."

I just hate it when it applies to my life and makes things harder for me! ;-) 

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Our middle child, who is in 2nd grade and is struggling with reading, stayed up until 12:37 AM on a school night to finish a book we had gotten at the library that day.

Apparently, part of the problem has been that I have not gotten him the right book.  Once he is interested, the reading problem seemed to largely disappear.  Now I am on the hunt for more books like the one from the library.

Side note: I did tell him that staying up past mid-night on a school night was NOT going to be allowed. And then I bought him a clock for his own room so there would be no excuses.

But dang! I was proud of him for reading that book!

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Counseling is going good. I am learning some things about myself.  Enlightening things. 

But it is not easy.  I think maybe I need a "live-in" counsellor for a month or two.

Wait!  Maybe I already have that?  The Holy Spirit.   I keep reminding myself "I CAN do all things THROUGH Christ, who gives me strength!!"

Between me and Jesus and the counsellor and the Holy Spirit...I feel hopeful that progress will be made in my heart and life.  Aside from me being in there, it just might be the "dream team"!

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Everyone has blind spots in their lives.  E.v.e.r.y.o.n.e.   The more I am around people, the more I am reminded of this.

Being the analytical person that I am, I naturally pick out contradictions between what people say and what they do. Or between what they say one time and what they say another time.

I am sure those who around me notice my blind spots too!  I think sometimes God allows us to have blind spots because we are just small humans and we can only work on so many things at a time.  Once we get one problem addressed, then He will show us the next one we need to work on. I like to think of it as mercy.

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This is the week of Christmas program.  Three of them, to be exact. All on different days.

Oh, joy!!  Nothing like sitting in a crowded, stuffy room peering from a distance and trying to pick your child out in the crowd. 

Yeah. Really puts me in the holiday spirit.

Maybe I shouldn't have written that. I sound like a hater.  I really am not Scrooge.

Shelf Elf can testify to that!

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I will leave you with something that I think is funny.

It fits all of my criteria to score high on the "funny-ness factor scale".

1) Slightly inappropriate.
2) Could offend some people.
3) HILARIOUS!

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{Random is the "New Normal"}

I say that random is the "New Normal" because that is what I seem to do best these days. Whether in my mind or in my life or in my blogging. Between Random words of the day and random posts about anything and everything, I dare say it IS the "New Normal."  (Not sure why that needs to be capitalized, but it does!)

I worked on this puzzle over the weekend.  Its been sitting there, barely started, for a month.  This past weekend I spent (way too many) hours working on it. I became a bit obsessed.  I finished it on Monday and wouldn't you know...there is a piece missing. Right in the center of the puzzle. I am trying not to be too upset about this.

I have been doing Level 1 (because two and three are two hard for me) of Jillian's Michaels 30 day shred off and on for a long time now.  This is an "on" time again.  Sometimes, while I am working out and huffing and puffing, in my head I think little things like "I hate you, Jillian Michaels.  I hate your pretty ankle tattoo and your flat stomach and your perky little voice and your glossy ponytail."


Last night, I picked up Subway for dinner.  I get so tired of the rush of getting home from work, quickly making supper and rushing off to Bible study that one night a week.  So I decided to just skip the "making supper" part.  It was awesome!  Kendall was like "Thank you, Mom, for bringing supper from Subway."  Apparently, Subway is a better cook than I am. 

I woke up this morning to a daughter who was starting with pink eye. Which I happen to know she got from a girl at school whose parents sent her to school with pink eye. I didn't want to repeat the cycle, so guess what Nikki is doing today?  Spending a whole day with her Grandpa.  I made sure she had some coloring pages and papers for drawing and she packed up her Polly Pockets and a lunch and I dropped her off (with her freshly streaked, pink hair, which I am sure Grandpa loved - not!) before taking the boys to school. It almost made me feel like a little girl...dropping my daughter off with my Dad.  Like, I could almost BE her. Spending a day with my Dad. Does that make any sense?

Two times within the last week or so I have come downstairs to find the patio door on the other end of the basement partially open.  I didn't even tell Jeremy, because I knew he would be more upset than I was at whichever kid left the door hanging open.  You know what freaks me out the most about that?  A critter could wander in and be living in our basement and I would never know until one day I open the closet in the spare bedroom and beady eyes are staring back at me!!!


I wore this to work yesterday. Boots, leggings and a short(ish) skirt.  I see this on people all the time and I like it.  I have worn this sort of an outfit before.  Yet, every time I put this outfit on I feel a whisper in my ear that says I look like a  _ _ _ _ (insert word of choice here. Not complimentary.)
And then I hear those same voices say "Well, the reason you feel that way is because you shouldn't be wearing that outfit."  (Only certain people with similar upbringing to mine will understand this!)  Sometimes I do not know how to distinguish between actual Holy Spirit versus voices in my head from years gone by.

Nikki drew this at school yesterday. I totally heart my kids' drawings. I wish I could keep them all. This is a castle, by the way.

I started house cleaning my house, room by room, and now I am finally done!  You want to know when I started?  THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST.  Three frickin' months and I am finally done. And you want to know what else?? The part where I first started doesn't even look like it was organized anymore and I could totally start all over again and go through the rooms in rotation.  But I am NOT doing that!!!

My book club calls itself "The Skinny Girls" because we like to drink "Skinny Girl Margaritas."  That's all well and good until you go into the library to request the book for the new month and you have to say "Its for the Skinny Girls".  And then you feel like they're all checking you out and you have to explain  your muffin top and you're kicking yourself for not wearing your Spanx that day!  Maybe you should even make a promise like "I swear I'll lose 5 lbs. before I come in next month."


There is hardly anything that breaks my Mother heart more than a child's unadulterated hope and enthusiam about something that you know will likely not happen.

From downstairs, I overheard this conversation yesterday.

Derrick -- "Kendall. You only have one bucket of acorns left."

Kendall -- "Yeah."

Derrick  (very excited voice) -- "You better go out and pick another bucket full of acorns.  Because what if you get orders for two buckets in one day and then you won't be prepared."

Then I hear them getting all geared up to go out and pick more. And I just feel this sadness for them that I can't exactly explain.  And it spills over into the rest of life and how many disappointments they will face and how I can't protect them and it makes my heart ache.  Seriously. I could almost cry. 

A guy from work gave me this old calculator/planner/electronic address book thing that he never uses. I thought that the kids would have fun playing with it.  Only problem...we can't get it to turn on.  So Nikki was still pretend typing her name into it and playing with the calculator.  I guess maybe it doesn't need batteries after all.

Halloween is my least favorite time of the year.  Hands down.  We don't get into Halloween at all, which is very counter cultural.  I give my kids the choice whether to attend the Halloween parties at school or not and this year Nikki is attending but both the boys are not.  I never grew up doing Halloween and I didn't miss it, and I honestly would just rather skip the whole thing.  Its not that I think it is wrong to dress up and go out and get candy. I can see that it would be fun.  And I don't mean to judge anyone who is into Halloween. Please don't take it that way.  But so much of it is dark and evil and I just can't get into it at all.  It just makes for quite a few awkward discussions for my kids and myself and its really not that fun. 


My kids (boys especially) have been SO into playing Legos lately. This whole setup is on our coffee table right now. And that little bunker in the front...I took a close up picture of that because that is where they have been collecting all the cool little Lego pieces they find in their digging.  They literally spent probably 5 hours playing Legos last Saturday with our neighbor boy. It made me so happy! And there was pretty much zero bickering or fighting.  I love Legos (for my kids) and the creativity and fun that is involved.

Derrick is supposed to do an essay on Veteran's Day for school. He is in 4th grade and there is a contest and there will be a winner announced when they decide who had the best essay.  When he brought that home, man, my competitive spirit kicked in. It was almost like I was back in school myself. I started researching stuff for him on the computer, I brought up 2 books from downstairs for him, and I printed off some inspiring stories of Veteran's for him to read.

Apparently, the dream to win the 4th Grade Veteran's Day essay contest is MY dream and not his!!! Finally, after much disinterest in the great materials I had discovered for him, I said "Do you want to win the contest??" and he just looked at me and said "No. Not really."  And that is when I knew I had to step back.  This is not really my problem. 
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